Kuya

I miss my brother.

No, he's not dead. No, he didn't turn into a drug abuser or homicidal maniac. I just miss him because he's going to be a dad now.

Flashback!!! (cue: windy sound effects and black and white images)
*When we were younger, let's say he's 14 and I'm 7 years old (yes, we have a seven-year gap), we would watch wrestling and end up wrestling with each other.

*There was one time he hid something for me to find,made a map for me to follow for the sake of boredom-busting.

*Speaking of busters, we used to play Ghost Busters A LOT (usong-uso pa yun noon eh).

*If my parents are out and he's left with me, he would cook for me.

*He gave me a Spongebob stuffed toy one time for no reason (he knows I used to worship the Squarepants show haha).


...And a lot more.Everytime I remember that his girlfriend is 6 months pregnant, I can't help thinking...One day he'll totally move out of the house because he's starting his own family now (and its a good thing that he immediately found a job as a computer graphics artist),he'll soon marry and completely become a man, a FATHER.

You may not grasp what I'm feeling now if you don't have a brother, but for those who have one (or more), and you've grown to be close to him,I think you'd agree that there's a slight "emotional baggage" when it comes to these things.Truth is, when we got older, that was the real time we got closer because amidst all the childhood fun we had, he was a bully when we were younger and there were times he hurt me. Maybe because there was the thought that I'm a girl and I'm younger,he might've felt inferior.

He was a rebel in high school and that was our "dark time"...for all of us, especially my parents. It was when I got older,more mature that he began to understand me more because we both knew we're still growing together.Of course, the bullying had to stop right? And when it did, there were drastic changes. Once more, we're moving up to a whole new level. I'm just starting to be independent (towards college) and he's already building a home.


I repeat. I miss my brother. I guess the only thing that can comfort me now is to remind myself that he's still my brother no matter what. And he knows that I'm the only sister he can ever have so he should be happy too (haha).

Feliz Navidad Prospero Anio y Felizidad.

Did I get the title right? Haha. OHWELL.
Here we go, the Great Christmas Update..and the Immortal New Year's Resolutions post. Gaaaah.Christmas was a little bland, but the food was awesome. I ate to my heart's content, yet I didnt gain too much!Huwahahahaha.

Anyways, I've been doing resolutions my WHOLE LIFE since I found out na uso pala ang New Year's resolutions...kasooo, poor me, hanggang paper or salita lang ako.Over the years I kept saying "Next year..."




...I'll be disciplined with my bedtime. Aaah, look at these eyebags.
...I won't be spending too much of my allowance kasi super lagi na lang walang natitira!
...I'll comb my hair more often haha
...I won't be conscious of my eating habits



Wow. Miraculously, I can't think of anything else to resolve! Gaaaah. This post, is for the sake of updating. Will be on a three-day retreat.

SEE YOU IN JANUARY DUDES.

Comrades No More

My best friend and I have been buddies since 3rd grade. Now we're in 3rd year high school.
But don't be confused, its not me and her who has the problem...its a "her and a certain him" actually.
Once upon a freshman year, we were still ignorant with high school life. The first thing we decided
to try out was to make friends (yes, I kinda know how to socialize). First year high was actually the first
time I actually got close with guy friends. My best friend got specially close to this one guy.
Sa buong barkada, lahat tight. Kahit sa guy na yun malapit ako.Natuwa na lang ako when I found out that one day they like each other. Another cool thing is, they weren't the mushy type. You know they like
each other but the way they treat themselves is how I'd expect my brother to treat me.
Ang cute nila, as in. In short, they were
keeping it casual, and being the close friends that they are to me, they would both tell me things
that I know would eventually lead to something uhhh..romantic, I guess. OHOHO, BUT I WAS SO WRONG.


I think it was lack of communication and a MAJOR misunderstanding. Grabe, if you only knew. Mega
mortal enemies na sila ngayon. Its been almost a year since they last spoke to each other. I attempted to reconnect them, and my best bud was so willing to forgive the guy even if it was his fault, really.(Nonetheless,I'm not mad at him. What I do hate is the fact that they're now STONE COLD with each
other).Now my best friend is so happy with another guy who happens to be the exact opposite of the ex-best guy friend. Pero nabadtrip ata si ex best guy friend so he's taunting the new guy. YOU SEE?! That's how twisted things are.

Nothing changed between me and the guy, we're still in touch and all, but boy, those two could still explosively collide even without contact (if you know what I mean). I wish I could detail the happenings, but a lot has happened that I don't even know where to start.


One word: Sayang. Make it two: Sayang talaga. Goodness, make it four: Sayang na sayang talaga.

Busy Busy Busy

I'll just wait for the Christmas vacation because school is still a monster. Will visit your blogs very soon.


hugs and chocolates.

Untitled. (laughs out loud again)

My funny bone has activated itself. Natatawa na lang ako habang ipinopost to. Why? Be-cauuuuse, I'm thinking about my dateability. Haha. I've been thinking about this for quite some time because it amuses me to actually get ditzy about this "issue".

Let me get this straight first, I've never had a boyfriend but I have no plans of having one yet. Besides, my parents don't think its the right time. (I agree, I think 15 is still young to tire myself with a commitment). But what happens when I start to get formally courted? Will I be an ideal girl? Anong klaseng interrogation gagawin ng parents ko? Yung sa madilim na lugar pa ba na may gumegewang-gewang na ilaw?! Goodness. Though I try to deny, I think I'm actually worried.

Its so intimidating to imagine myself in the dating world 'cause I'm such a tomboy. I don't know how dateable I am, or if I'll end up being the friend,but never the girlfriend. Ouch yun ha, parang sa movies lang ah.

Anyways,I think I'm becoming insecure, being the inexperienced chick that I am when it comes to dating and stuff. I just don't know if I can handle it. (Yeah medyo mababaw lang to, pero if you're in my position, its really not easy. Especially if the way your parents raised you was to patiently wait and wait and wait, meaning your only idea of a boyfriend-girlfriend scenario is from others. Iba pa rin kung ikaw ang nandun diba?)

I'll just play it safe. Wish me luck. *grins*

The Art of Pinoy Rallies. (*laugh out loud*)

Anakngtokwa'tbaboy(nadoubledead).
Wala akong maipopost na matino ngayon.Seryoso. Kasi naman. The pain! The agony! First day high ko ngayon.For the guys, sorry kung di makarelate. Gals, oo, first day ko kaya buong araw akong namimilipit hanggang paa sa sakit.

Anyways,my post is not about my dysmenorrhea or whatever, and I'm not even sure if
I spelled it right. Heck, tinatamad ako magspell-check.

Mga aktibista...ang sisipag nila mag-ipon ng ultraviolet radiation at polusyon ng kapwa nila tao(bukod sa noise pollution nila at air pollution mula sa perspiration ng mga kasama nila) dahil mula umaga, kainitan ng tanghali, hanggang oras ng gimikan,hala rally pa ren. Bilib din ako sa kanila kasi akalain mong artistic sila. Matiyaga sila gumawa ng mga effigy ni PGMA tska galante magprint ng mga flyers at mukha ng members ng Senado, tsaka with matching apoy pa! (susunugin din pala ang mga yun). Kelangan din may parang "yell" sila, syempre dapat amplified vocally ang nais nilang iparating. Ang mga rally ng Pinoy, kabisado na ng mga tagasubaybay ng balita sa TV.

Eksena ang mga rallyist no? But in a way I guess I admire them for their compassion (uh, right)and concern for the country. Sure they're "fighting for the greater good of the Filipino people". Sure they're brave...new age heroes if you must. Sure they are visionaries who have a goal; who chose activism as the resolution if diplomatic means are not effective.What I'm trying to say is, activists may not always be wrong, but they're not always right. Sometimes what they chose to do is not the best way and people end up getting hurt, yet we're being driven by a trashy political clamor,ran by greedy hands and minds, to stand up and do something so its not hard to imagine how they feel.I'm seeing both sides of the coin here, and as much as I'd like to say I'd rather be apathetic about the chaotic politics here, plus the very predictable rallies, I can't and I musn't. We can't and we musn't.


Dear. I hate politics more than ever. A living representation of absurdity (I forgot who said this one.This is just a quote).Pulitika...isang seryosong bagay na tinatawanan ko na lang. Ayokong maghintay ng milagro, pero ayoko rin naman maging aktibista.



I think the best way to see change in this country without shedding blood, or be desperate and continue diplomacy (which normally doesn't work) is to be the change we want to see in the world just like what Ghandi said. A little prayer wouldn't hurt either. This is the best time to be proud Pinoys,folks!





Sorry if this post is so-so.Nakafocus ang isip ko kung pano matulog nang hindi magkakaroon ng Red Sea sa bedsheets. Haher.

Only in the Philippines.

* Today, I saw three cats run over by what seems like ten-wheelers. (one on the way to school, and two going back home-but I think one of them was a dog). What a lovely sight. Other countries have hospitals for animals. Heck, some cultures even worship them.


* Jaywalkers? Countless. As much as possible, I always cross the ped xing. No one or very few people follow this EFFIN' SIMPLE LAW. What sucks is sometimes its always the driver's fault if someone jaywalked and gets hurt. In the States, my grandparents said you're not breaking any ordinances if you run over someone walking outside the pedestrian crossing and you don't have to face charges; it is the 'victim' who would face the consequences.


* Is it that hard to pocket your gum wrappers or stick it in your bags and wait to arrive at home so you can go trash it there? Instead of letting it fly along the highway?


* Can those dudes with their beer goggles on at least wear a tank top when loitering outside? Its really disgusting to see their Buddha bellies all over the place.


* "No smoking". [Driver(titigil saglit sa kanto): "Boss, isa ngang Marlboro"]. Ohmygulay.

I encounter these almost everyday, but these three I happened to witness simultaneously today. As my head swirls from stress in school, hanggang pag-uwi ba puro perwisyo pa rin?


Pilipino talaga.